Journal Entry 682

1.

I believe after I die that I will have no more sorrow, no tears, no fears, no worries, no sickness, no bad memories, no hate, no more questions.

I believe there will be much light - vivid colors, esquite beings, family, friends (won't that be great!) I believe somehow old hates/hurts will be healed love will radiate to and from each being like light rainbowed through a prizm. I will be part of a large chorus and sing praises for time upon time. I will dance + worship and never grow tired.

i will be a new being. I will know and be known. I will have my questions answered and "it" will all make sense.

I believe that when I die there will be at least one, but maybe more, to help me to the other side.

i imagine I am happy and at peace.

2.

I have experienced my death few times. I have only thought of my own death a few times. I am starting to think about my death more as I age, with my work, as I experience the death of loved ones.

My first close experience to death. I was 7-8 at my uncle's lightening hit - a car as as I reached out to touch it. i remember being somewhat scared but mostly embarrassed because we were in a strange neighborhood and my dad was out in my uncle's yard in only his boxers on.

I also remember hiding from mom in a neighbor's yard. I fell asleep for a few hours and when I got home my mother was beside herself in fear and agitation. "I thought someone had kidnapped you - raped you - killed you." I don't remember the exact words just that it seemed life threatens.

My best experiences in death was when I gave my heart to Jesus. I really was opened. I cryed until the alter was dripping wet. But i was so happy. I truly became a new person that day. The old me had died forever.

3.

Death adds meaning to my life - gives urgency to life esp to spiritual aspects of life. If I lived forever I could put off (even more than I already do) my spiritual growth - that inner awakening. My approaching death gives me hope - helps me bear hardships, gives structure, and is a catalist for my seeking transformation.