The Picturing Death Project Journal Entries from 1999-2003

The simple but effective structure for the Picturing Death Project, a cast glass table, four chairs, and journals, provide a structure for journal writing with 4 questions that help participants examine how we will choose to live with the knowledge that death is inevitable. Currently, the project table, chairs and journals reside at Hospice Care of Southwest Michigan in Kalamazoo.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Journal Entry 065

The fact that I going to die gives spiritual meaning to my life.

If there was no death, there would be no hope for a complete transformation. No hope for higher meaning, existence without physical or emotional pain - Can there be growth without discomfort - Pain propels us to seek but does not itself transform.

Death gives life more value.

Death gives me gratefulness for today.

Death gives me a deeper ability to love.

wood/pain fuel


Heat/pain energy

awareness & ability = knowledge

with knowledge you draw closer to or further from Heat (Pain?)


My instincts tell me that my death will be from within. Diabetes, and or Heart Attack, or may Alzheimer's Disease. Like others I don't want to be a burden on my family for long. However I would like the chance to say goodbye, make peace if needed. Help make plans for Charlie if he is still alive.

My deepest hopes for my death would be to die in a peaceful sunny, breezy place by water a room like this but maybe on a lake or river - the beach would be best. I would like loved ones to come and go, not too many at one time but maybe a lot would be OK. Maybe the most important thing would be love. The love and shared love between the people I love.

I hope I am comfortable but alert. If not alert - comfortable. I hope I can say I love you, Thank you, Forgive me, I forgive you and Good Bye (I'll see you later to all the people I love.

My fears:

That I would go before Charlie

That I would longer and be too big of a burden

That I would suffer physically for a long time

That I would have many regrets

That I will die before I am ready to die

That I will not be prepared to let go of life with peace

That I will not feel at peace with God or not have fulfilled his purpose in my life

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